Sunday, October 14, 2018

spirit of discontent

we have just remodeled our home. 
if you are friends with me on any form of social media, you already knew this. 
we started at the beginning of April and moved back in sometime in July, i can't remember exactly when. 
People often ask, "are you done?"
to which i reply, "no, we still have x and y to complete, but we're living there"
each time i answered this question, i was revealing a small part of my attitude i had towards my life.
and in me was brewing a feeling that i was not aware of. 
one of discontent. 

i started to feel unsettled. about everything.
our house. my job. our marriage. our church. my friends. everything.
but i couldn't quite put my finger on it. 

i tried to talk to GT about it, but couldn't quite articulate what this feeling was that i was having or why.
after one particular conversation, he said that it sounded like i wasn't content. 
and it was like i was ungrateful for so many of the things i had prayed for or had wanted.
i had no response.
he was right.

after that conversation i began praying and asking God to give me a heart of contentment
of gratitude
of awareness and perspective.
GT and i talked a lot about this 
i made a deliberate decision change my attitude
about our house
about our family
about my friends
about our church

in Philippians, Paul talks about being content in any circumstance.
and, no, i don't think he meant for me to learn to be content with my old couch in our new living room until we get a new one. 
He was content in any circumstance by knowing Jesus Christ

and i do think it's that simple. 
knowing Jesus
knowing peace
knowing grace
knowing hope
knowing JOY, true JOY
that's enough to outweigh any circumstance
whether it's a broken friendship
a dwindling bank account
an unstable job
a quarrelsome church

whatever it is. knowing Jesus Christ and all that HE provides is enough to bring contemnent

Here are a few practical things that have helped me daily in being content

3 things to combat a spirit of discontent
1. service
it ai't about me anyway
first, stop thinking about yourself. 
look around and find ways to help someone else

2. an attitude of gratitude 
cheesy, i know. but sometimes it's all it takes. 
a deliberate change in attitude
start listing the things you're thankful for. 
look at what you prayed for, asked for a year ago, or 10 years ago and see if you have those things. 
be thankful for them.

3. stop comparing 
quit looking at other peoples stuff. their relationships. their Instagram photos. 
they're wanting what someone else has anyway. 

simple steps 
(but not that easy)

this is not new
and i know i'm not the only one who has felt this way
Paul wrote about it over 2,000 years ago for crying out loud! 
you know i love the bible for it's practicality and ability to be relevant to all people at all times.

we are not the first generation to feel oppressed (for whatever and anything)
the first church family to have discord
the first culture to have crazies
the first nation to have political unrest
we are not the first family to feel overwhelmed
i am not the first mom to feel guilty or not good enough

this is life, this is people, this is a broken world
we will never feel happy with or fulfilled by ANYTHING people or this world has to offer
that is why Jesus is it.
the only way.
if you are only looking to find satisfaction in how people act (even leaders) or by things (even nice things), it won't happen

when you start feeling unhappy with something or someone
start at number 1 up there.
find someone else who might need something you've got.
your heart. your hands. your time.

that's what Jesus did. 
He served.
 and i guarantee, not once, did He feel discontent
He knew his purpose
in serving others and knowing His purpose, He gave us ours